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Archive for December, 2007

Better days…

Oh what a nasty post I did last time.  I apologize to anyone who read it- I’m doing much better today, and promise to refrain from pouring out such drival in the future.

First: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet little Kesara!  She turned 2 yesterday.  The day was pretty quiet- just her sister and I mostly- but I think she had fun.  She also had a tummy ache from all the sweets that kept being offered to her.  Her sister had left some cotton candy out (i won’t bother to explain how her sister got cotton candy on a Friday night, but it was a highly unlikely situation) so that is what Kes snuck for breakfast.  Then later we decorate gingerbread men- Kes liked eating the sprinkles best.

Kes’s birthday

Her sister had a ball feeding her gummy worms, then of course we had cake and ice cream: by then Kes was completely turned off the cake, and only ate the ice cream.  I’m surprised she didn’t throw up.  But I did sneak her a sliver of a Rolaids tablet- couldn’t hurt, I figured.

The fun part was that she didn’t even seem to understand what was going on until we sang the birthday song to her and gave her the cake.  Then she lit up and started pointing at herself saying “birthday?” Adorable.

So now she’s a terrible 2.  They grow up so fast.

In knitting news: I finished the skull scarf.  I’m having very mixed feelings about it.  I think it looks great- my knitting was neat, the pattern was cool, etc.  But I screwed up and the two ends don’t match- I didn’t alternate the yarn color on the one end.  I was really ticked with myself at first.  But you know your maturing when you get over something like that alot quicker.  The way I see it is I  learned how to double knit, and pretty well too.  I’m so grateful I have a bright 7 year old to be a fan of my knitting- my husband pointed out the flaw before he said anything positive- which came out kinda like “it’s still a nice scarf”, which was about as flattering as plaid polyester pants! It sucks to live with an apathetic man.

Finished and flawed skull scarf

And now I’m going to learn to knit lace.  I’m doing the ‘touch of whimsy’ scarf. And here’s the really embarassing/monumental thing: I’m knitting it in wool.  I’m ashamed to say I’ve never knit with pure wool.  Frankly, I’m cheap.  Really cheap. Or poor- depend on your perspective. But this time I’m knitting with wool- i’ll find the brand name later. 

The primary cause of my conversion is Ravelry. I never realized how despised acrylic yarn is. On ravelry, people apologize for using it.   I have yet to form an opinion- after I mull it over awhile, I think I will start a discussion there.  In my own defence, if a defense is needed, I normally knit only for kids, (I have no patience for larger projects) and as a mom, I know that clothes that require special laundry treatment are a pain in the ass.  Quality acrylic yarn will do just fine for kids, and comes in bright and cheery colors. I don’t really see the drawback.

But my lace scarf is for my step mother, so I’m giving wool a try.  So far, I do like to knit with it. I’ve only done 3 rows so far.

starting lace scarf

I also bought 2 balls of alpaca- when I jump, I leap! So soft!  But not as soft as cashmere… Oh my god!  I found some cashmere at the yarn shop, and fell in love!  Insanely soft- they had swatches knit up, and I’m so glad I was alone and no one could see me fondly it… But it was sooooo insanely expensive!  I almost cried when I found out the price.  I wonder if I’ll ever be able to afford to knit with it- at that price, I’d end up with a very soft, very expensive wrist band!

So there you have it- isn’t that a happier post? I hope I didn’t drive my few blog friends away with that last one.

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I’m jealous.  I’m jealous of all the knitter/bloggers with beautiful pictures on their blogs of the outdoors, of their adorable children playing in the wide open spaces… These lucky folks live where there is room to store yarn stashes and learn to dye, and where their children can run around outside where they aren’t bugging their mom about how bored they are!

I live in a dingy, dreary, bleeping small apartment (I exaggerate, but only slightly), and I just don’t belong here.  I belong on a farm, or by the ocean- anywhere that isn’t surrounded by cement.  I love the sound of crickets, and hate the sound of cars!  I want to smell dew on the grass in the morning, instead of my neighbor’s first joint of the day.  I just feel soooo out of place here!

I’m not here by choice… I just kinda got dropped here, and I can’t seem to get out.  Life got flipped upside down when my husband and I separated a few years ago.  We’re back together again (hence the 2nd child) but now he works a minimum wage job, while I work from home and take care of the kids (and pay all the bills and rent etc- okay, i’m a bit bitter).  He has no intention of getting a better job- his job is easy, and he can walk to it, so he’s happy.  But I don’t want to go out and work 12 hour days and never see my kids, and even if I did, I’d probably have to stay in the suburbs. 

I don’t want much- indoor plumbing is as fancy as I get.  I just want a little piece of land that I can call my own, where I can own a dog and sit and knit while the kids play to their hearts content. I worry that it’ll never happen… it I have to live here forever, a little part of me will die…

Gawd, what a miserable post, huh? Well, perhaps I’ll come up with something cheerier tomorrow. I certainly hope so.

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